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By Benjamin GroffMedia© | benandsteve.com | 2025 Truth Endures©

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“How Earl Survived the End of the World (Three Times In One Week)”

It all started on Monday when the news said the world was ending. Again.

“Experts warn: AI, killer bees, and rising sea levels converge by Wednesday,” read the headline on Earl’s phone. He sighed, sipped his lukewarm coffee (the microwave broke last week—tragic), and Googled “How to survive multiple apocalypses.”

Step one: hoard supplies.

Earl ran to the grocery store, but unfortunately, so did the entire neighborhood. All that was left on the shelves were 37 cans of creamed spinach and one gluten-free hot dog bun. He grabbed both. Earl wasn’t proud.

Step two: fortify your home.

This was trickier. Earl’s DIY skills peaked at assembling an IKEA lamp in 2014 (and even that leans a little). He taped bubble wrap over the windows. He stacked his furniture into a makeshift barricade. He hung a sign on the door that read: “Beware of Dog (or raccoon—honestly not sure anymore).”

By Tuesday, the threat had shifted. AI wasn’t trying to destroy us; it just wanted us to finish a customer satisfaction survey. Earl politely declined. The bees were delayed due to weather conditions. The sea levels were rising slowly. Earl figured he had time to finish his Netflix backlog.

Then came Wednesday.

That’s when the real disaster struck:

🚨 The Wi-Fi went out. 🚨

Earl sat there, blinking into the void, unsure how to continue. How does one live without memes? How do you know what to be outraged about if you can’t check Twitter?

Earl tried reading a book. (Printed words? On paper? Barbaric.) He tried talking to my houseplants. Phil the fern judged him silently.

Finally, Earl ventured outside — mask on, hand sanitizer holstered like a gunslinger — only to discover ––

The neighborhood kids had set up a barter system.

“Two rolls of toilet paper for a bottle of sriracha!” 

One kid yelled.

“Half a pack of Oreo’s for an iPhone charger!”

Another bargained.

Earl traded three cans of creamed spinach for a Wi-Fi hotspot code—the best deal of his life.

By Thursday, the headlines read: “World Fine (For Now).” 

Earl sighed in relief –– until he heard a knock at the door.

A drone hovered outside, lowering a package. Earl opened it to find:

– A “survival for beginners” guidebook

– An emergency avocado (slightly bruised)

– A note that read:

“Stay tuned. Apocalypse 2.0 beta release coming Friday.”

Earl looked up at the sky, took a deep breath, and whispered:

“I’m going to need more creamed spinach.”