benandsteve.com

By Benjamin GroffMedia© | benandsteve.com | ©2026

Today I wanted to leave something less hard hitting. Just a word or two to get the mental juices flowing like this first piece. Asking you what are the differences between the dogs and cats? I am hoping for some humor, serious, or even oddball statements to be posted. Next, is a piece I a pulling from my memoir and sharing with you. Just a piece of what I have been working on. It details One Decision That Completely Changed The Course Of My Life.

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The Difference Between Dogs And Cats

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What is one small decision you made that completely changed the course of your life?

One small decision that completely changed the course of my life began with a simple answer:

“Sure… that sounds like fun.”

In 1982, a new friend asked if I wanted to ride along with him to Oklahoma City—about 200 miles away. His boss’s son needed a ride home after church the next day. He preferred not to make the drive alone. It sounded like nothing more than an overnight trip. A little road time. A small adventure.

Nothing important.

Just a ride.

But life has a habit of hiding its biggest turning points inside the smallest moments.

That night—October 23, 1982—something quietly shifted in my world. During that overnight stay, Steve and I discovered something in each other neither of us had planned for or expected. In the span of a single evening, two truths suddenly came into focus.

First, I had met the person I would spend the rest of my life with—Steve, my husband today.

Second, I understood something about myself that had never fully made sense before. I realized I was part of the LGBTQ community, something that had been quietly waiting for its moment of clarity.

Had I declined that invitation, or simply stayed home, my life would almost certainly have followed a very different road.

Instead, that one small “yes” set everything else in motion.

And it all became unmistakably clear with one simple kiss. In that moment, a clarity I had never known suddenly appeared. Life began making sense in ways it never had before. The confusion, the questions, the quiet sense that something was missing—all of it suddenly fell into place.

I had finally found what my heart had been searching for.

All because of a simple invitation.

All because I said yes.

And sometimes, when I think back on it, I realize something else.

The most important journey of my life began with a 200-mile ride I almost didn’t take.