By Benjamin GroffMedia© | benandsteve.com | ©2026 June 15, 2026
The Great Coop Explosion
The people of Clucker’s Gap believed they had finally solved their chicken problem.
This would prove to be incorrect.
The town’s Fourth of July fireworks had been secretly hidden inside the county fairgrounds agriculture barn.
“Chickens never go into barns,” declared Mayor Buckley.
Several farmers attempted to object.
Unfortunately, they were ignored.
To make matters worse, someone had been scattering nitrogen-enhanced chicken feed all over town.
The feed had been developed by Professor Cornelius Peabody, who claimed it would increase egg production.
It certainly increased something.
The chickens had become larger.
Faster.
And considerably more opinionated.
No one knew who was distributing the feed.
No one knew where it was stored.
And no one knew why every chicken seemed capable of jumping fences they previously respected.
Standing above it all was the county barn’s famous cupola.
Inside hung the Eternal Lantern.
For fifty years the lantern had burned day and night.
No one knew who filled it.
No one knew where the fuel came from.
And no one could remember a time when it had ever gone out.
Naturally, no one questioned it.
That was mistake number one.
The evening of June 15th arrived warm and still.
Marshal Chester Finch was conducting his weekly Moped Safety Awareness Patrol.
His red beacon flashed.
His siren occasionally squeaked.
Children waved.
Finch accidentally threw hard candy at a mailbox.
The mailbox surrendered.
Everything appeared normal.
Then came the first sign of trouble.
A chicken landed on the roof of the agriculture barn.
Then another.
Then twenty.
Then approximately four hundred and sixty-seven more.
Farmer Jenkins pointed upward.
“Why are they all gathering there?”
No one knew.
The chickens began pecking furiously at the cupola.
The old wood rattled.
The Eternal Lantern swayed.
A single spark drifted downward.
Right into a hay bale.
Nothing happened.
For three whole seconds.
Then…
WHOOOMPH!
The hay erupted.
The hidden fireworks ignited.
Rockets blasted through the barn walls.
Roman candles shot across the fairgrounds.
Bottle rockets chased the mayor.
Catherine wheels attached themselves to two tractors.
Someone’s prize pig briefly achieved flight.
Then came the second explosion.
The mysterious nitrogen-enhanced chicken feed.
Two thousand pounds of it.
The blast launched a mushroom cloud of feed, feathers, and confusion three hundred feet into the air.
The shockwave lifted townspeople off their feet.
The sheriff landed in a watermelon patch.
The mayor landed in the county pond.
The town band landed in perfect formation and continued playing.
Marshal Finch and his moped achieved temporary aviation.
Witnesses later estimated they traveled nearly seventy-five yards before splashdown.
The giant plume drifted over the county.
For several moments it resembled a chicken.
No one found that comforting.
As the dust settled, the entire town emerged from the pond covered in feathers and fish.
Mayor Buckley stood waist-deep in water.
His hat floated past.
“I suppose,” he said, “we should have hidden the fireworks somewhere else.”
Finch removed a catfish from his boot.
According to regulation manual Section 27, Paragraph 9, he informed the crowd:
“Any fireworks storage plan that ends with livestock becoming airborne is officially discouraged.”
The crowd nodded.
That seemed reasonable.
Then everyone froze.
From the far side of the pond came a familiar sound.
COCK-A-DOODLE-DOOOOO!
General Clawford stood atop the water tower.
Beside him sat a wooden crate.
Stamped across the side were the words:
“PROPERTY OF THE CHICKEN KING.”
Marshal Finch slowly adjusted his hat.
“I thought we settled this.”
General Clawford merely smiled.
Or at least it looked like a smile.
And somewhere in the darkness, another lantern flickered to life.
To Be Continued… cluck, cluck, cluck.
Stories concerning our Moped Riding Hero always appear at High Noon Arizona Time. Where the sun is high, the desert is hot, and time never changes! 🐔🏍️💥🧨.
Groff Media ©2026 benandsteve.com Truth Endures
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