Marshal Chester Finch – Chapter Fourteen: The Last Ride of Old Pete

Benjamin GroffMedia© | benandsteve.com | ©2026

June 22, 2026

The sun rose over Gotebo with an unusual silence.

No screaming.

The Gotebo Goat Showdown

No overturned wagons.

No missing laundry.

And perhaps most suspicious of all…

No goats standing on rooftops.

Marshal Chester Finch squinted over the handlebars of his cherry-red moped.

“George,” he said.

George Jones wagged his tail.

“I don’t trust it.”

George barked once.

Neither did he.


For nearly three weeks, Gotebo had been under siege by the infamous Spence Gang.

Six hundred goats.

Led by the legendary Old Pete.

A billy goat so ancient his beard dragged the ground and whose horns had been carved over generations with mysterious symbols, tally marks, and what appeared to be a recipe for peach cobbler.

Some said Old Pete was descended from the outlaw Pete Spence.

Folklore a digital AI group, had created a drawing of Spence the Goatman. Half Goat, half man. No one had ever seen him. Not even George Jones!

Others claimed he was Pete Spence.

Reincarnated.

With hooves.

Marshal Finch refused to take an official position.

Mostly because there wasn’t a checkbox for that in the regulation handbook.


Then, at precisely 8:17 a.m., Old Pete walked into town.

Alone.

No army.

No fanfare.

No smell.

This last fact caused Powder Puff to faint.

“Impossible!” cried Powder Puff.

The self-proclaimed most handsome goat in Oklahoma collapsed dramatically into a horse trough.

The townsfolk rushed to Old Pete.

The old goat climbed atop a feed barrel.

Cleared his throat.

And gave one final speech.

It consisted of:

“Maaaa.”

A pause.

“Maaaaaa.”

Then a longer pause.

“Maaa.”

No one understood.

Except Mrs. Hargrove, retired schoolteacher.

She dabbed her eyes.

“He says,” she whispered,

“The goats are tired.”

Everyone stared.

“He says they fought because they were afraid.”

More tears.

“He says perhaps descendants of outlaws don’t have to live like outlaws forever.”

Marshal Finch removed his hat.

George whimpered softly.

Even Powder Puff stopped admiring his reflection.

For nearly thirty seconds.

A personal record.


Old Pete slowly climbed down.

He approached Chester.

Looked him directly in the eyes.

Then nudged something toward him.

A tiny object.

Wrapped in cloth.

Inside was an old silver pocket watch.

The cover was engraved:

P.S. 1881.

Alongside it was a note.

Written in surprisingly neat handwriting.

It read:

EVERY GANG NEEDS A MAN WHO SHOWS UP.

EVEN IF HE RIDES A MOPED.

TAKE CARE OF THEM.

— OLD PETE

Marshal Finch looked up.

Old Pete had already begun walking west.

Toward the hills.

Toward the setting sun.

Toward whatever waits for outlaw goats at the end of the trail.


No one ever saw him again.

There were rumors.

A rancher claimed he saw a huge billy goat silhouetted on a ridge during a thunderstorm.

A trucker swore a goat with magnificent horns helped him change a tire near Tombstone.

Someone in Arizona insisted Old Pete stole a bag of oranges and paid for them with a silver dollar minted in 1880.

No one could prove any of it.

But nobody could prove it didn’t happen either.


As for the Spence Gang?

They disbanded.

Most retired.

Some took up lawn care.

Others became therapy goats.

Powder Puff began charging admission to smell him.

It failed.

Spectacularly.


Marshal Finch mounted his moped.

George climbed into the side basket.

The marshal tucked Old Pete’s watch into his shirt pocket.

He looked back one last time at Gotebo.

“George.”

George barked.

“I think we’ve finally solved one.”

George tilted his head.

“Or at least survived it.”

That counted too.

The moped sputtered.

Coughed.

Backfired loudly enough to scare three chickens in the next county.

And Marshal Chester Finch rode off toward whatever ridiculous crisis awaited him next.

Because somewhere…

there was always another telegram.


 

 

Stories concerning Marshal Finch always appear at High Noon, Arizona time. Where the Sun is High. The Desert is Hot. And the Time Never Changes!
Stories concerning Marshal Finch always appear at High Noon, Arizona time. Where the Sun is High. The Desert is Hot. And the Time Never Changes!

 


Groff Media ©2026 benandsteve.com Truth Endures

 

U.S. Marshal Finch – Chapter 13: The Goat Barbecue Conspiracy

By Benjamin GroffMedia© | benandsteve.com | ©2026

June 21, 2026

Powder Puff and The 49 

Marshal Chester Finch had encountered many odors during his career.

Dynamite.

Marshal Finch and the Goat Barbecue Conspiracy – Enter Powder Puff

Wet dogs.

The county jail after chili night.

A moonshine still exploding inside a barber shop.

But nothing—and he meant absolutely nothing—prepared him for Powder Puff.

The goat emerged from behind Old Pete just after sunrise.

He was magnificent.

His coat was snowy white.

His horns curved elegantly.

His beard flowed like a frontier preacher.

And he smelled as though something had crawled into another something, died, and been buried inside a gym sock soaked in onions.

Chester immediately covered his nose.

“Sweet mercy!”

George Jones let out a yelp and rolled down a small hill.

The Gotebo Goat Ropers backed away.

JD yelling

“Don’t use a good rope on that bastard! You’ll ruin it. Never get the smell out of it!”

Even Old Pete took three cautious steps to the side.

“That’s Powder Puff,”

JD explained.

“Who in God’s name named him that?”

“My wife.”

“Why?”

“She hates irony.”

Powder Puff proudly strutted forward.

And then the wind shifted.

Three townspeople fainted.

One horse attempted to file for relocation.

The church bell rang all by itself.

Chester pulled a handkerchief from his pocket and tied it around his face.

“I’ve smelled chemical fires that were more pleasant.”

JD nodded.

“He’s not fixed.”

“I gathered that.”

“No,”

JD said.

“You gathered him.”


Unfortunately, Powder Puff’s smell was not the town’s greatest concern.

The goats were disappearing.

One.

Then another.

Then three more.

Always at night.

Always smaller goats.

Always gone without a trace.

Old Pete had noticed.

The Spence Gang had noticed.

And now 597 remaining goats were becoming increasingly irritable.

They gathered on the hillsides.

They stared at passing wagons.

They glared at children.

They chewed fences aggressively.

One goat kicked a mailbox completely off its post.

The town was on edge.


Chester assembled the town council.

“This isn’t random.”

Mrs. Crenshaw nodded.

“The goats think somebody’s eating them.”

“Nonsense,”

Chester said.

Everyone stared at him.

Then JD slowly raised a hand.

“Well…”

Chester frowned.

“Well what?”

JD coughed.

“There was a Pow Wow over in Carnegie.”

“So?”

“And old Earl McGinty may have had a .49.”

“A .49?”

“Forty-nine people.”

Chester blinked.

“No.”

JD nodded.

“They ran out of brisket.”

“No.”

“They needed meat.”

“Absolutely not.”

JD removed his hat.

“Some boys might’ve borrowed…”

He paused.

“…six goats.”

“Borrowed?”

“They didn’t bring them back.”

Chester slowly stood.

“I am a Deputy United States Marshal.”

“Yes.”

“I have investigated train robberies.”

“Yes.”

“I have pursued murderers.”

“Yes.”

“I have never before uttered the sentence…”

He rubbed his temples.

“…’Did somebody steal goats for barbecue after a Pow Wow?'”

The room was silent.

George Jones barked once.

Even he couldn’t believe it.


Word spread.

Unfortunately.

Not among the townspeople.

Among the goats.

Nobody knew how.

Perhaps a sympathetic sheep.

Possibly a traitorous donkey.

Maybe Powder Puff overheard somebody while stinking up Carnegie.

Whatever the reason—

the goats learned the truth.

And they were furious.


That evening Old Pete summoned the herd.

Hundreds gathered beneath the moon.

Powder Puff stood beside him.

Unfortunately downwind.

The moon itself seemed to retreat behind a cloud.

Old Pete stomped.

The goats stomped.

Old Pete bleated.

The goats answered.

Powder Puff bleated.

Half the herd staggered backward coughing.

Old Pete glared.

Powder Puff looked hurt.


Meanwhile Chester sat alone outside town.

George Jones beside him.

“I didn’t approve this.”

George whined.

“Nobody should be eating town evidence.”

George barked.

“Especially not after a Pow Wow.”

George barked louder.

Chester sighed.

“I’m afraid something terrible is coming.”

At that moment—

A rider on a horse arrived.

“Marshal something terrible is coming!”

Marshal Finch asked what?

The rider said

“I don’t know but I could smell it on my way into town!”

from somewhere on the hills— there stood Powder Puff.

Then came a sound.

Not a bleat.

Not a growl.

Not even Powder Puff after eating wild onions.

It was singing.

Hundreds of goats.

Together.

Slowly.

Deliberately.

The melody drifted across the prairie.

Chester froze.

Because somehow…

somewhere…

they had learned the tune to:

“Have You Seen My Chicken?”

George Jones lifted his head.

His collar speaker crackled.

And began playing the song too.

The goats sang louder.

Old Pete raised his head toward the stars.

And Powder Puff—

standing proudly beside him—

let loose a smell so terrible…

that three coyotes surrendered themselves to the Gotebo Goat Ropers.


Marshal Finch removed his glasses.

“George…”

George whimpered.

“I have a feeling…”

He looked toward the hills.

“…the goats are planning something.”

Far off in the darkness, Old Pete’s eyes glowed.

And beside him stood Powder Puff.

Stories concerning Marshal Finch always appear at High Noon, Arizona time. Where the Sun is High. The Desert is Hot. And the Time Never Changes!
Stories concerning Marshal Finch always appear at High Noon, Arizona time. Where the Sun is High. The Desert is Hot. And the Time Never Changes!

Smelly.

Proud.

And somehow looking entirely too pleased with himself.

The Goat War was about to become personal.

To Be Continued… cluck, cluck, cluck.                  

Stories concerning our Moped Riding Hero always appear at High Noon Arizona Time. Where the sun is high, the desert is hot and time never changes!


Groff Media ©2026 benandsteve.com Truth Endures

 

U.S. Marshall Chester Finch – Chapter Eleven: The Next Telegram

By Benjamin GroffMedia© | benandsteve.com | ©2026

June 19, 2026

The celebration in Dustbucket Junction had finally ended.

The giant chicken statue stood proudly in the town square.

Chesters Next Telegram Requires Backup!

George Jones was asleep beneath it.

And Chester Finch was preparing to leave.

His moped was loaded.

His saddlebags were packed.

Three containers of emergency breath mints had been secured beneath the seat.

“Well, George,” Chester said, adjusting his hat. “Looks like our work here is done.”

George Jones looked up briefly.

His collar speaker suddenly crackled to life.

“Have you seen my chicken…”

The dog sighed.

The townspeople gathered to wave goodbye.

The mayor presented Chester with a ceremonial key to the city.

It did not fit any known lock.

The schoolchildren sang a song they had written entitled The Ballad of the Chicken Marshal.

The lyrics made very little sense.

Just as Chester placed his foot on the moped kick starter, a cloud of dust appeared on the horizon.

A rider approached at full speed.

The horse looked exhausted.

The rider looked terrified.

The telegram looked expensive.

He skidded to a stop.

“Marshal Finch!” he shouted.

“Another emergency!”

The crowd gasped.

The mayor fainted.

George Jones immediately began barking.

The rider handed over the telegram.

Chester unfolded it.

The message was brief.

URGENT.

TOWN OVERRUN BY ANGRY GOATS.

SEND MOPED MARSHAL IMMEDIATELY.

Chester read it twice.

Then a third time.

He looked toward the horizon.

“Goats?”

The messenger nodded.

“Mean ones.”

“How many?”

“We stopped counting at six hundred.”

The mayor recovered consciousness.

“Six hundred?”

“Last report says they’re organized.”

Chester’s face grew serious.

He reached into his pocket.

A breath mint disappeared.

Then another.

George Jones whined.

“Looks like we’re heading to Gotebo.”

The messenger swallowed hard.

“Good.”

“Why?”

“Because the goats have already defeated the sheriff.”

The crowd gasped again.

“What happened?”

“They stole his horse.”

At that moment Chester knew ordinary law enforcement was no longer sufficient.

This would require specialists.

The best.

The elite.

The legendary.

The Gotebo Goat Ropers.

Within the hour telegrams were flying across western Oklahoma.

JD received one while repairing a fence.

Dub received one while winning a horseshoe tournament.

Barney was asleep.

Bud was eating pie.

Marvin was doing both.

The message was the same for each man.

REPORT IMMEDIATELY.

GOAT EMERGENCY.

BRING HORSE.

AND ROPE.

Meanwhile, Chester mounted his assigned horse.

A Shetland pony.

The pony stood approximately the same height as George Jones.

The crowd watched silently.

“Marshal,” the mayor said carefully.

“Is that the horse they sent you?”

Chester climbed aboard.

The pony sighed heavily.

“It’ll do.”

The tiny horse carried him forward at a speed slightly faster than walking.

George Jones trotted beside them.

His collar speaker began playing.

“Have you seen my chicken…”

And with that, Dustbucket Junction watched its hero disappear toward another impossible assignment.

Ahead lay angry goats.

Six hundred of them.

And somewhere beyond the horizon, the Gotebo Goat Ropers were saddling up.

The goats had no idea what was coming.

Unfortunately, neither did Chester.

The Leader of The Goats learned that Chester was in enroute and sent him this message…

Unfortunately…there was not an interpreter available to tell Chester what the Goat was saying. We will learn more about in our next episode!


Out in the Oklahoma Hills, where the oak and blackjack trees kiss the playful prairie breeze, and where the black oil rolls and flows while the snow-white cotton grows, Marshal Chester Finch is beginning to suspect that every town in the state has a livestock problem.

First chickens.

Now goats.

As he rides toward Gotebo atop a Shetland pony, Chester can’t help but wonder:

“Is Oklahoma really where I want to be, or am I just too stubborn to leave?”

U.S. Marshal Chester Finch – Chapter 10: The Celebration Ends & A New Assignment Begins

By Benjamin GroffMedia© | benandsteve.com | ©2026

June 18, 2026

The celebration in Dustbucket Junction had finally ended.

The giant chicken statue stood proudly in the town square.

Chesters Next Telegram Requires Backup!

George Jones was asleep beneath it.

And Chester Finch was preparing to leave.

His moped was loaded.

His saddlebags were packed.

Three containers of emergency breath mints had been secured beneath the seat.

“Well, George,” Chester said, adjusting his hat. “Looks like our work here is done.”

George Jones looked up briefly.

His collar speaker suddenly crackled to life.

“Have you seen my chicken…”

The dog sighed.

The townspeople gathered to wave goodbye.

The mayor presented Chester with a ceremonial key to the city.

It did not fit any known lock.

The schoolchildren sang a song they had written entitled The Ballad of the Chicken Marshal.

The lyrics made very little sense.

Just as Chester placed his foot on the moped kick starter, a cloud of dust appeared on the horizon.

A rider approached at full speed.

The horse looked exhausted.

The rider looked terrified.

The telegram looked expensive.

He skidded to a stop.

“Marshal Finch!” he shouted.

“Another emergency!”

The crowd gasped.

The mayor fainted.

George Jones immediately began barking.

The rider handed over the telegram.

Chester unfolded it.

The message was brief.

URGENT.

TOWN OVERRUN BY ANGRY GOATS.

SEND MOPED MARSHAL IMMEDIATELY.

 

Chester read it twice.

Then a third time.

He looked toward the horizon.

“Goats?”

The messenger nodded.

“Mean ones.”

“How many?”

“We stopped counting at six hundred.”

The mayor recovered consciousness.

“Six hundred?”

“Last report says they’re organized.”

Chester’s face grew serious.

He reached into his pocket.

A breath mint disappeared.

Then another.

George Jones whined.

“Looks like we’re heading to Gotebo.”

The messenger swallowed hard.

“Good.”

“Why?”

“Because the goats have already defeated the sheriff.”

The crowd gasped again.

“What happened?”

“They stole his horse.”

At that moment Chester knew ordinary law enforcement was no longer sufficient.

This would require specialists.

The best.

The elite.

The legendary.

The Gotebo Goat Ropers.

 

Within the hour telegrams were flying across western Oklahoma.

JD received one while repairing a fence.

Dub received one while winning a horseshoe tournament at his retirement party.

Barney was asleep on his tractor.

Bud was eating pie with his wife Pete.

Marvin was doing both he had fell asleep on his tractor eating pie, that Pete brought him.

The message was the same for each man.

REPORT IMMEDIATELY.

GOAT EMERGENCY.

BRING HORSE.

AND ROPE.

Meanwhile, Chester mounted his assigned horse.

A Shetland pony.

The pony stood approximately the same height as George Jones.

The crowd watched silently.

“Marshal,” the mayor said carefully.

“Is that the horse they sent you?”

Chester climbed aboard.

The pony sighed heavily.

“It’ll do.”

The tiny horse carried him forward at a speed slightly faster than walking.

George Jones trotted beside them.

His collar speaker began playing.

“Have you seen my chicken…”

And with that, Dustbucket Junction watched its hero disappear toward another impossible assignment.

Ahead lay angry goats.

Six hundred of them.

And somewhere beyond the horizon, the Gotebo Goat Ropers were saddling up.

The goats had no idea what was coming.

Unfortunately, neither did Chester.

The Leader of The Goats learned that Chester was in enroute and sent him this message…

Unfortunately…there was not an interpreter available to tell Chester what the Goat was saying. We will learn more about in our next episode!


Out in the Oklahoma Hills, where the oak and blackjack trees kiss the playful prairie breeze, and where the black oil rolls and flows while the snow-white cotton grows, Marshal Chester Finch is beginning to suspect that every town in the state has a livestock problem.

First chickens.

Now goats.

As he rides toward Gotebo atop a Shetland pony, Chester can’t help but wonder:

“Is Oklahoma really where I want to be, or am I just too stubborn to leave?”