Morning Coffee: Who Should Remain on the Friends List?

A friends list should not require complete agreement. The better question is not whether someone thinks like us, but whether they can disagree while still treating others with dignity.

By Benjamin Groff II GroffMedia© | benandsteve.com | ©2026

September 22, 2026


Two smartphones beside two coffee cups on a wooden table
Two smartphones rest beside coffee cups in a warmly lit, relaxed workspace.

This weekend, Steve and I found ourselves discussing a modern-day question: Who should we remain social media friends with?

It’s the first day of fall, so you know what that means: seasonal cleaning! Grab the broom and dusting cloth, clear away yesterday’s dust, and make room for everything this new season may bring.

Some of our online friends are people we know personally. Others entered our lives professionally. Some are kinfolk—and, as everyone knows, you do not get to choose your kinfolk. You simply learn which subjects should never be discussed at Thanksgiving.

Then there are the people we have never met. By every traditional definition, they are strangers. Yet, through years of comments, photographs, birthday wishes and shared stories, some of them have become more thoughtful and dependable than people we once saw every day.

Our friends lists also contain a few hangovers from our school years. Some go all the way back to kindergarten, while others joined us somewhere between high school and our last stop in higher education. There are former coworkers, old neighbors, distant cousins and people we once knew well but now recognize primarily by their profile pictures.

Together, they make up this grand and rather peculiar collection called a “friends list.”

The question Steve and I discussed was whether the things these people post could affect how others see us. Does remaining connected to someone suggest that we agree with everything that person believes?

Suppose a distant social media friend—someone we have never met—announces that they are against oxygen. Suddenly, the rumor begins circulating that Ben and Steve want people to stop breathing.

That would be the furthest thing from the truth. We want almost everyone to continue breathing.

But social media does not leave much room for careful distinctions. A friendship, a “like,” or even a silent connection can sometimes be interpreted as an endorsement. People may assume that because someone appears on our friends list, we approve of everything that person says.

That brings us to the difficult part: Who stays, and who goes?

Should one negative political post be enough to unfriend someone? Probably not. Most of us have had a bad day, written something too quickly or allowed frustration to speak before good judgment arrived.

Disagreement alone is not necessarily a reason to end a friendship. If someone dislikes watermelons, for instance, I might question their judgment—but I would not immediately remove them from my life.

However, if they begin posting that people who eat watermelons are destroying America, should be denied medical care and ought to be rounded up before the next family picnic, then we have moved beyond a harmless difference of opinion.

There is a difference between disagreeing with people and demeaning them.

Someone may disagree with our politics, our religion, our marriage or the way we live our lives. They have that right. But we also have the right to decide what behavior we will welcome into our personal space.

A friends list should not require complete agreement. If it did, most of us would eventually be left talking only to ourselves—and even then, I occasionally disagree with myself.

The better question may not be, “Does this person think like me?” It may be, “Does this person treat others with basic dignity?”

Can they disagree without becoming cruel? Can they discuss an issue without insulting entire groups of people? Do their posts contribute something worthwhile, or do they exist mainly to provoke fear, anger and division? When they discover that something they shared was false, do they correct it—or simply move on to the next falsehood?

Those questions tell us much more about a person than whether they vote the same way we do.

There is also a difference between making a mistake and establishing a pattern. One thoughtless post can be forgiven. A steady stream of hatred, personal attacks and deliberate misinformation becomes a choice.

At that point, unfriending someone is not necessarily an act of punishment. It may simply be an act of housekeeping.

We clean our homes by deciding what belongs inside them. Perhaps we should occasionally do the same with our social media spaces.

That does not mean everyone who irritates us must be shown the door. Social media platforms usually provide quieter choices. We can unfollow someone without ending the connection. We can mute a page, hide certain posts or simply continue scrolling.

Not every disagreement requires a courtroom, a family feud or a public announcement beginning with the words, “I am cleaning up my friends list.”

Sometimes the healthiest response is simply to stop giving someone our attention.

Steve and I did not establish a complicated set of rules. We did not begin working down the alphabet, judging every person from childhood onward. Instead, we came back to something much simpler.

We can remain connected to people who disagree with us. We can even learn from them. But we do not have to provide an audience for cruelty, hatred or the deliberate humiliation of others.

Friendship should leave room for differences. It should not require us to surrender our peace, compromise our values or remain silent while others are treated as less than human.

So, who should remain on the friends list?

Perhaps the people who remind us that there is still room in this world for conversation, laughter, kindness and the occasional disagreement over watermelon.

As for oxygen, Steve and I remain firmly in favor of it.

Since it is the first week of fall, we are doing a little seasonal cleaning around here—dusting off a few stories that deserve another moment in the light. You will notice as you read this weeks stories there will be a few cleaning tips sprinkled about as you read. ;-)

Have another cup of coffee—and please, continue breathing.


By Benjamin Groff II GroffMedia© | benandsteve.com | ©2026

——       Who should remain on our social media friends list? The people who disagree with us—or only those who know how to disagree without becoming cruel? This Morning Coffee considers friendship, boundaries, watermelons and why Ben and Steve remain firmly in favor of oxygen.

What to Expect if Authoritarianism Takes Over in 2025

If you wake up one morning and it gets decided that the far right movement has successfully won up and down the ballot the offices that will allow them control of the Senate, House, and Presidency, what happens on January 21st when the President takes office? The other’s take will have taken office on January 3rd, 2025.

If a far-right, authoritarian shift happened, imagine daily life feeling tense and disorienting. Freedom of speech and privacy might tighten, and communities could fracture over polarized beliefs.

Social media would likely be more censored, making it hard to know what’s happening.

For those in creative fields, such as storytelling and journalism, the potential for self-censorship is a real concern. Themes might be subtly altered, as work reflecting dissent or critique could become risky.

Public spaces and services would not be immune to the influence of a far-right, authoritarian shift. Schools, healthcare, and public safety could all be shaped by this new ideology, affecting the way history is taught, access to healthcare, and what behavior is punished or protected.

Law enforcement could face a mix of skepticism and loyalty shifts as priorities change, especially in places that once held them in high esteem.

Ultimately, a far-right, authoritarian shift could lead to a personal life that feels guarded. People might find themselves either staying under the radar or trying to navigate systems to protect themselves and their values.

It’s crucial to consider the potential influence of far-right extremism when we vote. Hopefully, there are still enough clear-minded individuals in America who can help prevent such a shift.

A MOTHER’S DAY REUNION


In a secluded cabin, nestled far from the clamor of the town, lived a gentle old soul, known to few but revered by those who understood her quiet strength. Her days were marked by solitude, yet she celebrated holidays and cherished moments as if surrounded by a bustling family. Her resilience was legendary, a testament to the indomitable spirit that dwelled within her.

Despite her solitude, the townsfolk viewed her with a mixture of curiosity and bemusement, dismissing her as a bit eccentric but harmless nonetheless. It wasn’t until a bashful young boy crossed paths with her that her story began to unfold.

In hushed tones, she confided in the boy, recounting a past filled with love, loss, and unspoken. She spoke of a time when her life brimmed with joy, her husband and sons by her side, their laughter echoing through the valley. But the ravages of war tore her family asunder, leaving her to weather the storms of sorrow alone.

With tears glistening in her eyes, she revealed the heart-wrenching fate of each beloved member lost to the cruel whims of fate. Her husband, called to duty in the Great War, her two sons spirited away by the tempest of World War II, and finally, her youngest, whose untimely demise on a desolate road robbed her of closure.

As the boy listened, his heart heavy with empathy, he dared to pose a question that lingered unspoken in the air. What if there was another, a grandson perhaps, who carried the legacy of her lost kin?

The old lady’s incredulous gaze met his, disbelief mingling with hope in her weary eyes. And then, like a beacon in the darkness, came the revelation – the grandson, lost to her for decades, now stood before her, a living link to the family she had mourned for so long.

With trembling hands and a heart brimming with emotion, she embraced the truth that had eluded her for years. In that moment, amidst tears of joy and disbelief, the lonely cabin was transformed into a haven of love and reunion.

As the boy revealed his identity, a grandson born from the ashes of tragedy and hope, the old lady’s heart swelled with a newfound sense of belonging. For in him, she found not just a descendant, but a beacon of love and remembrance, a testament to the enduring bonds of family.

And so, on that hallowed Mother’s Day, amidst the whispers of the past and the promise of the future, the little old lady found solace in the embrace of her newfound kin, her lost loved ones forever immortalized in the cherished memories they had left behind.

She told the boy the story of the little old lady who lived in a secluded cabin far from the bustling road. Few in the town knew she had her people, for she seemed self-sufficient. She would celebrate alone on holidays and special occasions, just as if she had a house full of family. Her resilience was a sight to behold, a testament to the strength of her spirit. 

The townspeople thought she was a bit looney. But she didn’t bother a soul, so they let her be. One day, a shy young boy befriended the lady, and they began to talk. The lady told the boy about a world before when she had a husband and three sons. Her husband had brought her to the valley and began a farm here; she had helped toil the soil. Soon, she gave birth to a son, then another, and by year six, there would be a third son on the farm. Their happiness halted when the Government called the husband away to fight in World War I; she said she got letters from him up until the day she didn’t. 

“He got killed somewhere over there. They never told me exactly where just in France on a battlefield.

The boys took care of the farming and made a good go of it, helping take care of the livestock and bringing income in that would pay for living expenses and build savings for the family, the little old lady explained to the boy. Then, when everything was going so well again, the Government called again and took two of my boys; it was World War II. They were gung-ho to go over there, promising me they would be back and bring a wife with them. Kidding me, they were going to share the wife. Sadly, I got the news on the same day they both died. Iwo Jima, why did they send them both into there? Didn’t they know? Didn’t someone care? I guess not!”  

–– the little old lady said, still wiping tears away after all this time.

The young boy wondered why she was alone and thought maybe the last son had grown up and gone away and never returned. He didn’t want to ask. But the little old lady continued talking. 

“My last son, the last one I had to hold on to, was working the farm and doing well, and I thought maybe he would be what we had dreamed of making this place be. But he was driving home from town and saw a young couple who appeared to have broken down on the side of the road. They were miles away from anyone, and if he didn’t stop, they could have died out there alone, so he stopped to help. As he was giving them a hand, they shot and robbed him, taking a One Dollar bill from his wallet, one that he carried for good luck, and a buckeye that he kept in his left pocket. Then, he rolled him over in a ditch like trash and took off in both cars.”

The young boy had tears in his eyes, thinking of the little old lady’s pain. She continued her story, ––– 

“He never came home. I knew something was wrong. I called the sheriff, and he came out and said he didn’t come home. Days later, they found his car in another state. A man on a tractor discovered his body about a month later. They said it was his. I never got to see him. Not one of my men got a decent send-off because of the way they died. I don’t know if I deserve one, either. I have stayed here, hoping that maybe everything they told me was wrong. And maybe someday, my husband and boys would come back to me. But no one has ever shown up.”

The young man quietly asked the little old lady, ‘ What if a grandson showed up? ‘ The little old lady, stunned, asked, ‘What you say?’ The young man said, ‘What if a grandson appeared instead?’ 

The little old lady replied, “I’d be damned because not one of my boys had been with a woman!” 

The young man told the little old lady, “Well, one of them had, and you just found out about it now! One of your boys in the war that disappeared also had just married his sweetheart way ‘over there.’ She happened to be carrying his child when he had to go to Iwo Jima and got killed. And, he was going to call and tell you that if it weren’t for that battle getting him killed, you would have known about being a grandmother more than 20 years ago. After my mother died, I found pictures and details about my dad and where he is from and tracked him to you, so I know now that you are my family.

With a tear rolling down her cheek, the little old lady quietly says ––– 

“Well, one of them found a way to return on Mother’s Day.”